Couples Therapy vs. Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues: Which Is Right for You?
Relationships can be a source of comfort, connection, and joy—but they can also bring frustration, misunderstandings, and stress. When things feel off, therapy can be a powerful tool for repairing, deepening, or reimagining the relationship. But one question often comes up:
Should we go to therapy together, or should I go on my own?
The answer isn’t one-size-fits-all. Let’s break down the differences between couples therapy and individual therapy when it comes to relationship challenges, so you can figure out which (or both) might help you most right now.
What Couples Therapy Looks Like
In couples therapy, you and your partner meet with a therapist together. The focus is on your relationship as the “client,” meaning the work is about improving your communication, understanding each other’s needs, and addressing patterns that may be hurting your connection.
Common reasons couples seek therapy together:
Frequent arguments or communication breakdowns
Feeling distant or disconnected
Trust issues, including recovery from betrayal
Navigating big life changes (new baby, relocation, career shifts)
Differences in values, priorities, or future plans
What happens in the room:
Both partners get space to share their perspectives
The therapist helps you notice unhelpful interaction patterns and practice new ones
You work together to build empathy and problem-solving skills
The benefit: You can address issues in real time with both people present, which can lead to quicker shifts in how you interact.
What Individual Therapy Looks Like (for Relationship Issues)
In individual therapy, it’s just you and your therapist. Even though your partner isn’t in the room, your relationship can still be a major focus.
Common reasons to address relationship issues individually:
You’re unsure whether you want to stay in the relationship
You want to explore your own patterns (like people-pleasing or avoidance)
You’re processing relationship-related trauma or betrayal
You need a safe space to talk without worrying about your partner’s reaction
You’re working on building confidence, boundaries, or self-awareness
What happens in the room:
You can reflect on your feelings without interruption or defensiveness
You identify your triggers and how your history affects your relationships
You learn tools for communicating more clearly and setting healthy boundaries
The benefit: You have complete freedom to focus on your perspective, growth, and needs—without managing the dynamics in the moment.
When to Choose Couples Therapy
You both want to actively work on the relationship and are willing to show up
The issues are primarily about how you relate to each other (communication, conflict, intimacy)
You feel safe enough to talk about hard topics together in a guided space
Pro tip: Couples therapy works best when both partners take responsibility for their part in the dynamic, rather than focusing on proving who’s “right.”
When to Choose Individual Therapy
You want to focus on your personal growth and how you show up in relationships
You’re not sure whether you want to stay in the relationship
There’s an imbalance in safety or power that makes joint sessions unhelpful (e.g., emotional abuse, control)
Your partner isn’t willing to attend therapy
Pro tip: Working on yourself can still positively impact the relationship, even if your partner doesn’t participate.
When Both Can Work Together
Sometimes, the best approach is a mix: individual therapy for self-awareness and healing, plus couples therapy to practice new skills together. This combination can be especially powerful if you’re untangling old wounds while also building a healthier dynamic in real time.
Bottom line: Both couples therapy and individual therapy can be incredibly effective for relationship issues, it just depends on your goals, your readiness, and your circumstances. The important thing is that you take a step toward support, rather than staying stuck in the same patterns.
If you’re ready to explore your options, I offer both individual and couples therapy, because sometimes the work starts with you, and sometimes it’s about learning to work as a team. Either way, we’ll figure it out together. Schedule a consultation if you’re in CA to see if we’re a good fit!
Gentle Note: What you’ve read here is meant for education and reflection; it isn’t a replacement for therapy. Every person’s experiences and needs are unique, so what’s shared in this post may not be the right fit for your exact situation. If you’re struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a mental health professional who can offer personalized support. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for free, confidential help 24/7.
